We all know I get my thoughts out better - and a lot less awkwardly and no stuttering - on paper. I mean, you do know that already by now, right?? Sometimes what I mean to say and what actually comes out of my mouth exist in two separate dimensions. I've been thinking a lot lately about that which actually brings me to this letter. If you haven't read my first letter to Marco (Polo) you can read it HERE!
Dear Marco (Polo),
No one should have to lower their standards, I agree, but there is something to be said for being more realistic with your expectations?? There are very few "princes" riding around on white horses looking for women to marry. My expectations are nothing that you can't live up to. I know you can. I have faith in you. I'm not asking you to fly me to the moon, to buy me sets of diamonds and pearls or even take me on an extravagant romantic getaway to Paris.
Who says that all fairytales have to be grand, full of pomp and circumstance?? They don't. The entire allure of a fairytale is because it's your dream - whatever that may be - coming true. For you. It could be a whirlwind European romance (not me), or it could be watching the sun set and sharing a glass of root beer (SO me). I won't ever apologize for believing in fairytales, especially my own. But I do however apologize to myself for putting myself in this position. I want nothing more an for you to be that prince but I'm not sure you are. :/
I'm an independent and content girl but honestly, and sadly, I need that affectionate bull crap from you to make me happy. Isn't that really all anyone wants from another human being?? To feel that chemistry, that spark, that lightbulb moment?? I don't know. Maybe that scares you?? It shouldn't, and if it does, I suspect that reflects your own insecurities. I can't exactly help you sort out that kind of baggage but I'll try.
I'm not sure why things are the way they are. I thought we got pasted those awkward "first" moments. We've held hands, we've cuddled, and we've even kissed. Shouldn't things get better after the first kiss?? Shouldn't that 'I feel awkward around you because I like you' feeling be gone by now?? I thought so but maybe you've lost those feelings you've once had for me. Maybe you're realizing you never had feelings for me and just see us being friends, so you're slowly trying to move into that dreadful "friend zone" that no women ever wants to be in.
I'm not looking for us to have a label of boyfriend/girlfriend because, honestly I'm not ready for that but I do need to know where we stand. I can't keep chasing nothing. That will just destroy me in the end and I'll just end up heart broken and sad. I just need for you to grab my hand once in a while. If I get scared during a movie just grab my hand or pull me in to cuddle. Kiss me unexpectedly whenever the mood seems right. I won't get upset with you, I promise. You can even kiss me goodnight. I won't hate it, I promise. I just can't keep making all the moves. It's starting to seem like I'm doing all the work of showing how I care and I'm getting nothing back.
So if these expectations are to much to ask, than I'm not sure what to do because I fail to see that. I just need you to start not being shy now, Marco (Polo) and let me know what you're thinking.
xoxo,
Bandit?!? :]]!
Bandit?!? :]]!
