2012 Resolutions

Confession: I've always had a love-hate relationship with New Year's resolutions. When I was younger, it seemed so easy to come up with those grand plans that I was going to accomplish over the next 12 months. And most years, when December 31 rolled around and I realized that I'd forgotten what my resolution even was in the first place, I resigned myself to the fact that resolutions and I just weren't friends.

Two years ago, I wrote of just wanting to be happy. And honestly, this sounds like a refreshingly perfect way to approach the coming year, doesn't it?

Your First Instinct.

I'd be so much better off if I could just stick with my natural reaction to things. Most of the time, my gut has initially made the right choice. But then I start over-thinking and second guessing myself...and that's when I start to make bad choices. That's the story of my life. When my gut pipes up, I need to listen. And when I listen, I need to stick with what it said. I need to stop changing my mind. 

But it's like I don't want to miss out on an opportunity, so I try everything. But what I need to do is act more often on my first instinct and just stick it out, because every time I do the opposite, I'm the one who is metaphorically screwed. (Helloooo, crap-fest that was my last breakup/make up/everything going to Hell.)

There's all these different options: do you follow your head, your heart, your gut? I'm not really sure. But if I had to listen to one and only one, I'd listen to the one that made its decision first. It's just like in school when they tell you to stick with your original answer on a test. Why? Because you're usually right. And after making so many mistakes, I'd like to be right on the first try for once.

Lounge Talk: Would you rather be gorgeous or smart?

YourTango recently asked this question on their facebook page. Now, friends, it seemed like an easy enough question to me. In fact, the answer seemed obvious. I was pretty sure I had an idea of what people were going to say. But then I started reading the 96 comments to that very question. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. That word was beginning to make me nauseous, giving me that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I've eaten too many pieces of Halloween candy corn. It's not pleasant, trust me, friends. Why? Because I've never cared much for those sorts of extremes, those ideas that you can be one or the other, but never, under any circumstances, both. So often, we're taught that if you're gorgeous, you can't possibly have brains, and if you have brains, then you must not have inherited the beauty gene. Maybe it's just me, but the ultimate in sexy is when you can be both and be comfortable in those shoes.

I did love this comment, though: "Smart - most guys will go for stunning, but any man with brains will go for smart." And a comment advocating gorgeousness above all else? Well, let's just say it knocked my socks off, especially when you read it without correcting the spelling or punctuation: "stunningly gorgeous and average smart (or a bit above average) Studies have shown that the better looking you are the more advanteges you have however there's a threshold-cross that and people feel uncomfortable around you."

That, my friends, just proves my point. Being gorgeous is definitely not as sexy as being smart.

MEMO TO MEN: The curse of nice guys

TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Amanda
RE: Women love nice guys. Really.
DATE: December 15, 2011

Whether she admits it or not, boys, every girl goes through a bad boy phase. It's just something that inevitably happens, much like teenage acne and the birds and the bees talk in junior high. It's almost as if it's become a rite of passage -- a time-honored tradition that gives you a taste of the dark, wild side. It happened to me in my sophomore English class when I fell for a senior who was on his third or fourth time of taking the class and was being held back from graduation; gosh, I'd never thought underachievement could get any sexier. It also happened a few years later in when I fell for a college boy with his own apartment. Boy, were my parents upset with me on that one.

And so it's during this time that we shun you, nice guys of the world. We avoid you like the plague because to us, you represent everything we don't want: Safety, comfort and stability. We want wild and crazy. We want excitement and sheer unpredictability. We want reckless abandon. We want all of these -- even if it's only from afar.

It's sort of sad when you think about it, isn't it? Nice guys don't get enough credit. Maybe I feel for these nice guys because I know what it's like. I'm the nice girl, a sash I now wear proudly as if I've just won the Miss America pageant . When did it become such a bad thing to just be nice? Why is it so horrible to want to make someone else feel special?

Because you know something? The charm and allure of those living-on-the-wild-side wise guys eventually fades into, well, nothingness. All that safety, comfort and security? Those are suddenly the very things you find yourself craving; they're almost impossible to live without. And it's in that moment that we realize it's time nice guys finish first. Because while bad boys will sneak into you bedroom at night, nice guys will bring you hot chicken soup during the day when you're sick. Because while bad boys will do everything to avoid meeting your parents, a nice guy will walk into dinner with a firm handshake, eye contact and a smile. Because while bad boys don't want to grow up or see a need to even look into the future, nice guys do and are. Because while bad boys might be good sprinters, nice guys are in the marathon for the long haul.

You can count on one thing, boys; I'll be waiting at that finish line for you.

This Girl Can't Help It.

As much as we may deny it, I think in the back of our minds we all yearn for that happy ending. We all want things to be smooth sailing and clear waters. We want things to be simple but somehow work out.

Very rarely does this ever happen.

Yet, when things are working out, we find ourselves wondering what's going to go wrong. Things are too good to be true, right?? I know I wish I could live in a moment without wondering when the crash and burn is going to kick in and kick me out.

Because I never thought I could have all this. I never thought this would happen to me. I'm so happy, things are looking up and it's just...skyrocketing. I have my bad days, but now I have great days.

Although we may be raised on rainbows and fairy tales, I don't want to get hurt. As hard as I may try to focus on the good days, I find myself warily looking over my shoulder as to what's coming next.

Because I never thought I could have all this.

Happy Sunday Friends!

Can you believe it's the fourth day of December? I'm starting to get into that "joyabledecemable" mood. [That's what I call it.] I've always found myself happiest during these winter months. I honestly don't know when it started but every since I was younger I've always love the cold weather, the Christmas spirit, decorating my house in Christmas decorations, making snowman, snow angels, and building snow forts to follow with a big snowball fight. I absolutely love wearing hats, mittens, scarfs and layers of clothing. Nothing beats a cute pair of winter boots with a pair of jeans. Laying in the snow for hours just looking up into the sky. Catching snowflakes on your tongue as you twirl in circles with your tongue out. It's just all makes me happy.

I'm starting to break out my winter clothing because the beginnings of winter are brewing in the air, the kind that leave you rosy-cheeked and feeling like hibernating because it gets dark so early. But I'm here to complain! We've had about zero snow yet this season. What's with that mother nature? Oh, only if I could wake up tomorrow morning and see a beautiful blanket of white snow outside my window. It would make me smile. I hope we're supposed to get some snow here soon, so I can plan on sipping some hot chocolate while I catch up on my DVR! After all, that's the best kind of weekend, isn't it? xoxo

[btb. that's my christmas tree this year.]