Life is too short to be anything but happy.

I saw this quote while I was browsing Tumblr today: "life is too short to be anything but happy." It was one of those inspirational quotes, put over a crappy, edited photo with hipster font. And although I usually just read posts like those and keep scrolling, this one struck a chord with me. Because last night, I realized that it's true.

I may be sad every once in a while, but I need to try being happy. We all have a story that may have more downs than ups. But once we see everything for what's it worth...why not be happy? I smiled and laughed more the other night than I have in about a month. And it felt great. Sure, I'm still bummed every once in a while over the reasons why I haven't been laughing, but they can't control me anymore. I don't want to spend my life being upset over things I can't control. I want to spend it enjoying everything in some way.

So here's to a new beginning.

How many times have you gotten in the way of yourself?

I can't stop thinking about it. It's barely been twenty-four hours and I feel like I've completely shattered my world from the floor up. I'm tired of being so brash, I'm tired of living my life like it's a series of important decisions.

For once, I'd like to just live. Especially in the present. I've been so wrapped up in the future that I forgot about what was right in front of me. I took what I had for granted. I saw an escape from what I thought wasn't good enough so I threw it carelessly out the window.

I don't know what's going on with me. More than ever, I want to fix it.

Maybe I should tried harder, maybe I could actually be patient and see if this works out. If it is anything at all. Maybe I should be more appreciative of the situation I'm in. Enjoy these feelings. I keep putting the blame elsewhere but it truly should be resting with me. And now that I'm alone, it is. But I could never let it before. It's hard to deal with myself right now. I'm truly not proud of what I've done.

Maybe I'm Not So Different

I grew up with two older brothers and a two sisters. One younger and the other older. Secretly I've always wished to have had a closer relationship with my older sister or mother as a child, but without that relationship I've realized I've grown up a little different than most girls. Unlike the girls I know, I didn't grow up playing dress up and trying to put on Mommy's make up. I never tried strutting around in heels that I stole from my Mom's closet. I didn't listen to the 'in' music or wear the trendy name-brand clothing. I wasn't really into shopping. Gossip didn't exist in my world, and neither did crazy make-over parties. I didn't go out and get manicures and pedicures, which to be honest, I've still never had either.

What did I grow up with? I grew up with comic books, trading cards, pogs (I still don't know what those were for), video/computer games (old Doom anybody?), catching grasshoppers, water gun fights, watching wrestling, action movies, and gameboys. My life growing up consisted of not caring about things like buying the latest clothes or having the coolest toy. I didn't talk about the other girls in my school and wish I could be like them. I was very much an easy-going tomboy.

To this day I'm a blend of the two: girly girl and tomboy. I do enjoy shopping and occasionally I like to do some amazing make-up, but I still play video games and like to spend time with the guys. I always have gotten along better with guys, too. My personality fits that of a guy as I have been told many times before. I don't freak out over the little, insignificant things that most girls would. Most things just roll off my shoulders. I'm incredibly easy-going and I'm somewhat of a slob. I'm pretty spontaneous, I don't really plan things in advance, I just do them when I feel like it. I've been known for belching contests or wearing the same pants for a week straight (they just fit better that way...). But don't be fooled! I love clothing and sometimes it takes me an hour to find something to wear. I fix my hair like I'm suffering from OCD. I love girls night outs and talking about boys. So in the end, I guess I'm really not too different from your average girl. But you'll still never catch me complaining about breaking a nail (unless it actually hurt).