Late Night Thoughts...

It's been another tough week for me. I actually cried a lot this weekend for the first time in quite awhile. My concentration level is pretty bad, and my energy is no where like it used to be. I can't think. I'm confused all the time. I can barely write anymore. I feel like everything in my world is changing, and I can't seem to make anything right again. I need to stop doing this and just "be," as my co-worker always says. But how do you do that when you're so scared sometimes? Can you will yourself to do it? I've been having a bit of trouble with that this past week. 

It wouldn't be so bad if I could at least think, but my mind is so foggy. I can't remember anything, and things that once came easily to me are a struggle now. Do you remember how I used to say that I never in a million years wanted to be normal? Well, for the first time, I find myself wanting just that. To be normal. To not be scared and afraid and worried and sad every single day. I'm trying to find the answers to all these questions, but I can't seem to find them anywhere. 


:(