Fuck It

There's only so much we can all take. So much we all bare, before we fall. Crumble into pieces on the floor. There is a fine line between coping and utter failure. One day you can be doing alright and the next you're empty, lost and broken. But think about it, you live once. And really?? When your dead it won't matter, so fucking live. Go out and make a fool of yourself, the worse thing that can happen is you die and then it doesn't matter. Fuck the law, fuck hatters, fuck anyone who doesn't think your good enough.

Truth or False: #1

TRUTH: I'm so scared everyone secretly hates me.

Hope

Life at the moment is not simple. It should be but the weird situations I'm in are quite complex. And that's making me think differently. Even if life stresses you out a bit, you shouldn't let it. You should fight which is exactly what I'm going to do.

I'm not ready for a breakdown yet! It's not my que. I refuse for it to ruin my weekend. These next couple days, I'm simply going to pause my life. Everything will work itself out. Just going to keep my head down and stay busy until then, it will be okay.

And hope he'll realize.

Open Letter: Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

Let me start by saying - I wish I had your courage. Lately, you've been doing what I thought you wouldn't do. You stepped out of your box and you said what was on your mind. You took all those words you wanted to say and just laid it on the line. You told me how it is. I wish I could do that. You have no idea.

Friend, there are a lot of things I admire about you. Right now your courage is just one of the things. But there's your persistence and your determination to fight for what you know you want, what you know is good for you. I want to grab that from you and put that in my heart - that passion and fire you just seem to come across so easily. I always have this fleeting hope that if I see someone else's passion, I will be passionate about whatever I can be passionate about.

You did something that could hurt you. You became vulnerable and laid your feelings out on the line. And it could've been the hardest thing, in fact I know if all this happened months ago you wouldn't have said anything at all. Yet, you did it. I couldn't do that - be vulnerable, lay myself on the line, do something I know I need to do and do it when it needs to be done, but am so scared to do. Gosh, you have a ton of courage, my dear friend.

I will give you a thousand hugs, whenever you need them. But for today, I just want you to know that you have my full out admiration and respect.

How I Feel (in Photos); Scary Words

I tried writing a blog about what I'm dealing with the past hour now. I've got nothing. This is all I've felt okay with sharing.

How I Feel (in Photos): Why Am I

There are times when I can't put what I'm feeling into words... It's just not possible. Everytime I try it sounds pathetic. So, I thought of just letting a picture tell it for me. This will be a new type of posting for me. :]]

Falling Into Place??

You know how people say that finally that their life is falling into place? Well, I think my life might be going through that process right now. Sure, things change; there is still drama, problems, and everyday difficulties. Yes, friends grow apart and disappoint you, and you learn that you can't always make everyone happy even though you try your hardest.

I just feel more whole than I've felt in a really long time. Even though there are still problems and everyday anxieties, it seems like I am dealing with them better. I am definitely not perfect, but I feel that I am becoming a better person. I have friends that are making me a better person. I have more control over my life than I have had in a really long time, if not ever. For so long I allowed others to have control of my life, and finally I am getting the backbone to be able to take control of my own life. I may not have taken totally control yet, but I at least feel that I have more than I did in the past.

There are many people who have helped me, and continue to help me through my life journey, but I think a big reason why my life fell into place was me. My attitude changed, my insecurities lessened, and I changed.

Facebook, Sometimes I hate you

Facebook has the potential to be incredibly irritating sometimes. For starters, whoever thought that Facebook needed to be that one friend who gossiped to the whole world about your current relationship status? Why must you alert the populace when you get into a relationship, but more annoying, when you break up, Facebook? I'm sure someone is already feeling miserable enough without the "Oh hey 200+ friends, this broad just got dumped! She's now lonely and depressed, probably pigging out on mint chocolate chip ice cream and brownies, refusing to leave her bedroom for the next few weeks. Go comment and ask her what happened to make everything worse!" Because that's exactly what someone needs after a bad break up.

How about Facebook chat? Nobody really thinks about it until they log on and a message pops up. Then you start talking and suddenly in mid-sending of a message the other person is signed off, though in all reality they are still on Facebook. And you have to refresh the page repeatedly or wait for them to appear again, and all the while you're wondering if that message is really all that important and worth the hassle. Or how about the delay? Or when things are sent in multiples when you didn't even hit the enter button that many times? Or, more annoyingly, those Facebook chat creepers. The ones who seem to stalk you online and send you "Hey cutie =]" all the time as if it isn't uncomfortable. Especially when your response at your computer or laptop every time is "I don't know you, why are you talking to me?!"

Why is there only a 'like' button feature? I'm sorry Facebook, but in the real world people dislike things as well. We don't live in fantasy land where everything is perfect and wonderful. Sometimes we disagree with things people say, or are tagged in really ugly photos. Get a dislike feature already!

Those people who send multiple friend requests clearly need a life. Or maybe a new brain. I'm sorry, but if you didn't notice, I ignored your request the first time for a reason! Feel free to take a hint and stop bothering me.

Oh Facebook mobile, you as well irk me quite a bit. Whenever I have brilliant ideas for statuses, you decide to stop working. "What's that? You have a picture you'd like to upload? Oh I'm sorry, I'm going to be not working for the next few weeks. Hope you like disappointment!" I'm on to you Facebook mobile. You do that on purpose.

Unfortunately, in the end I still choose, like many others, to put up with the annoyances of Facebook. I'm not entirely sure why. Despite that, I do enjoy the fun bonding times I have confiding in my laptop and cellphone when Facebook decides to be like an irritating sibling and frustrate me.