Part One.

If you're reading this, I obviously posted it. Knowing that people are reading this is making me worried and blush. But honestly, this blog is a creative outlet for me. I'm honest; I'll admit to that. Your kind words on my honesty may have fed this desire to speak honestly. But I've been on the fence about posting on this. But lately I'm at a point. Why not?

Never did I imagine that I would be in this situation. NEVER!

For me it was beginning to seem like I was going backwards with guys, and I'd always thought I'd be in a stable relationship before I did anything. BUT here enters what's his name, a random guy, who's "into me", or atleast into getting into my pants. He's not fantasic looking, he's not charming, and he's not really my type, but he is a guy who seems interested. I know anything he says might not be the truth, but at that point I didn't care. But that was a lie.

Never did I imagine that I would be in this situation. NEVER!

The act itself was messy and inconclusive. There was lots of slipping and some pain, and I called it off after the first few attempts. Later, I rationalized to myself that this couldn't have been my first time because it was over so fast and hurt so badly. Now, I realize that those facts just prove its authenticity. I thought I firmly believed that it would happen when the person and time was right. Now, months and months later... I look back. That's just the way it is and I don't feel any certain way about it, good or bad. It's nice actually, to have no certain feelings about it as of now.

Never did I imagine that I would be in this situation. NEVER!

But the point is, just like , grape soda, the color purple, or Christmas time, it's something that defines me. The fact that I'm not a virgin anymore is something that makes me who I am today. I'll like to think that I contempate things more than most; I'm more than your typical overthinker.

BUT never did I imagine that I would be in this situation. NEVER!

to be continued...