Never did I imagine that I would be in this situation. NEVER!
For me it was beginning to seem like I was going backwards with guys, and I'd always thought I'd be in a stable relationship before I did anything. BUT here enters what's his name, a random guy, who's "into me", or atleast into getting into my pants. He's not fantasic looking, he's not charming, and he's not really my type, but he is a guy who seems interested. I know anything he says might not be the truth, but at that point I didn't care. But that was a lie.
Never did I imagine that I would be in this situation. NEVER!
The act itself was messy and inconclusive. There was lots of slipping and some pain, and I called it off after the first few attempts. Later, I rationalized to myself that this couldn't have been my first time because it was over so fast and hurt so badly. Now, I realize that those facts just prove its authenticity. I thought I firmly believed that it would happen when the person and time was right. Now, months and months later... I look back. That's just the way it is and I don't feel any certain way about it, good or bad. It's nice actually, to have no certain feelings about it as of now.
Never did I imagine that I would be in this situation. NEVER!
But the point is, just like , grape soda, the color purple, or Christmas time, it's something that defines me. The fact that I'm not a virgin anymore is something that makes me who I am today. I'll like to think that I contempate things more than most; I'm more than your typical overthinker.
BUT never did I imagine that I would be in this situation. NEVER!
to be continued...
2 comments:
So well written.
I'm glad you wrote this. You shouldn't be afraid to write what you want on your own blog.
Curious to know what's coming next...
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