It's hard to say what happened exactly but I don't remember feeling so depressed. I woke up about a week ago feeling a little down. I made it to work and found that I didn't feel like talking to anyone. My mood ranged from anxious and bored to feeling like I was on the verge of tears.
My workmate seemed happy to see me and said "seems like I haven't seen you for ages". All I could think was "I don't want to talk to you, leave me alone" but I was polite.
I said my "hi's" and "hellos" But walked away as soon as I had a chance. Didn't want them to ask my anything with substance. Didn't have the energy to answer.
And it's been like that sense then...
Another work workmate of mine came up to me a couple days ago and asked why I've been so blah. I just stood there. Making no eye contact. Just frozen but I wasn't frozen with fear, I just emotionally couldn't fake an answer, especially not with her. I got home and went to bed, hoping I'd feel better in the morning.
Days later... the same.
Even today I really don't want to leave my room because my roommates are home, which means I'd have to talk to them. I can't think of anything I want to do less.
I have a pointless 4 hour shift tonight and I don't think I will be able to handle it. I'm going to break down. I'm already thinking of ways I can avoid people.
I'm not always like this, I usually enjoy being at work or at home. For some reason though I feel far too depressed to interact with people. Fingers crossed for a better mood tomorrow morning. I hope to keep it together.
3 comments:
things will get better.
you're blog is so depressing lately. i'm sorry you have to deal with all this stufff,.
sometimes when i'm feeling down and depressed. i have a me day. take a whole day to do whatever you feel like. as long as you don't just lay around. go out. go shopping. go to a movie. have lunch. go for a walk or a run. do something for you.
but do it by yourself.
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