Lounge Talk: Would you rather be gorgeous or smart?

YourTango recently asked this question on their facebook page. Now, friends, it seemed like an easy enough question to me. In fact, the answer seemed obvious. I was pretty sure I had an idea of what people were going to say. But then I started reading the 96 comments to that very question. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. That word was beginning to make me nauseous, giving me that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I've eaten too many pieces of Halloween candy corn. It's not pleasant, trust me, friends. Why? Because I've never cared much for those sorts of extremes, those ideas that you can be one or the other, but never, under any circumstances, both. So often, we're taught that if you're gorgeous, you can't possibly have brains, and if you have brains, then you must not have inherited the beauty gene. Maybe it's just me, but the ultimate in sexy is when you can be both and be comfortable in those shoes.

I did love this comment, though: "Smart - most guys will go for stunning, but any man with brains will go for smart." And a comment advocating gorgeousness above all else? Well, let's just say it knocked my socks off, especially when you read it without correcting the spelling or punctuation: "stunningly gorgeous and average smart (or a bit above average) Studies have shown that the better looking you are the more advanteges you have however there's a threshold-cross that and people feel uncomfortable around you."

That, my friends, just proves my point. Being gorgeous is definitely not as sexy as being smart.

MEMO TO MEN: The curse of nice guys

TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Amanda
RE: Women love nice guys. Really.
DATE: December 15, 2011

Whether she admits it or not, boys, every girl goes through a bad boy phase. It's just something that inevitably happens, much like teenage acne and the birds and the bees talk in junior high. It's almost as if it's become a rite of passage -- a time-honored tradition that gives you a taste of the dark, wild side. It happened to me in my sophomore English class when I fell for a senior who was on his third or fourth time of taking the class and was being held back from graduation; gosh, I'd never thought underachievement could get any sexier. It also happened a few years later in when I fell for a college boy with his own apartment. Boy, were my parents upset with me on that one.

And so it's during this time that we shun you, nice guys of the world. We avoid you like the plague because to us, you represent everything we don't want: Safety, comfort and stability. We want wild and crazy. We want excitement and sheer unpredictability. We want reckless abandon. We want all of these -- even if it's only from afar.

It's sort of sad when you think about it, isn't it? Nice guys don't get enough credit. Maybe I feel for these nice guys because I know what it's like. I'm the nice girl, a sash I now wear proudly as if I've just won the Miss America pageant . When did it become such a bad thing to just be nice? Why is it so horrible to want to make someone else feel special?

Because you know something? The charm and allure of those living-on-the-wild-side wise guys eventually fades into, well, nothingness. All that safety, comfort and security? Those are suddenly the very things you find yourself craving; they're almost impossible to live without. And it's in that moment that we realize it's time nice guys finish first. Because while bad boys will sneak into you bedroom at night, nice guys will bring you hot chicken soup during the day when you're sick. Because while bad boys will do everything to avoid meeting your parents, a nice guy will walk into dinner with a firm handshake, eye contact and a smile. Because while bad boys don't want to grow up or see a need to even look into the future, nice guys do and are. Because while bad boys might be good sprinters, nice guys are in the marathon for the long haul.

You can count on one thing, boys; I'll be waiting at that finish line for you.

This Girl Can't Help It.

As much as we may deny it, I think in the back of our minds we all yearn for that happy ending. We all want things to be smooth sailing and clear waters. We want things to be simple but somehow work out.

Very rarely does this ever happen.

Yet, when things are working out, we find ourselves wondering what's going to go wrong. Things are too good to be true, right?? I know I wish I could live in a moment without wondering when the crash and burn is going to kick in and kick me out.

Because I never thought I could have all this. I never thought this would happen to me. I'm so happy, things are looking up and it's just...skyrocketing. I have my bad days, but now I have great days.

Although we may be raised on rainbows and fairy tales, I don't want to get hurt. As hard as I may try to focus on the good days, I find myself warily looking over my shoulder as to what's coming next.

Because I never thought I could have all this.

Happy Sunday Friends!

Can you believe it's the fourth day of December? I'm starting to get into that "joyabledecemable" mood. [That's what I call it.] I've always found myself happiest during these winter months. I honestly don't know when it started but every since I was younger I've always love the cold weather, the Christmas spirit, decorating my house in Christmas decorations, making snowman, snow angels, and building snow forts to follow with a big snowball fight. I absolutely love wearing hats, mittens, scarfs and layers of clothing. Nothing beats a cute pair of winter boots with a pair of jeans. Laying in the snow for hours just looking up into the sky. Catching snowflakes on your tongue as you twirl in circles with your tongue out. It's just all makes me happy.

I'm starting to break out my winter clothing because the beginnings of winter are brewing in the air, the kind that leave you rosy-cheeked and feeling like hibernating because it gets dark so early. But I'm here to complain! We've had about zero snow yet this season. What's with that mother nature? Oh, only if I could wake up tomorrow morning and see a beautiful blanket of white snow outside my window. It would make me smile. I hope we're supposed to get some snow here soon, so I can plan on sipping some hot chocolate while I catch up on my DVR! After all, that's the best kind of weekend, isn't it? xoxo

[btb. that's my christmas tree this year.]

Open Letter: Dear Marco (Polo)

This was probably the hardest letter I've ever written because for the first time my letter actually got to the person it was written for. Did he read it?? I'm not sure but he got it and I know that because I personally gave it to him. I felt like a complete loser afterward but he got it. That's all that matters. Now, I'll worry about if he read it or not... but I got all week to freak out over that. :/

Dear Marco (Polo),

I've been meaning to write this letter to you for some time now but you truly cause me serious writers block but it's time I tell you.

You know when you have a really great dream and you're super happy. Then you kinda wake up halfway and drift back to sleep, hoping to keep that dream? You know the feeling when you get that dream back immediately and continue with it? THAT FEELING.

Or when you take a walk, run or bike ride somewhere and the sun is shining, and it's warm, but not to hot and the grass is really green and the bees are buzzing? THAT HAPPINESS.

Or when it's a cool night and there's a huge storm brewing ouside, and the thunder clangs, and you snuggle deep down into the warm covers? THAT SAFENESS.

Or when you're in a crowded place, and you smile at a little kid, and their face lights up and they get a huge grin. THAT MOMENT.

That is how you make me feel. I just needed to tell you because I truly wonder if you knew how many times I've thought about you.

I'm not usually this shy and introverted, I swear, but the truth is, you're not like everyone else. You intimadate me. You're so puzzling and hard to read and I hate it.

Sometimes I wish that you were a robot. I would open you up, and cross some wires, flip some switches, push some buttons, and tighten some screws. Until you didn't act so mechanical. It might seem harsh I know, but you are one of the most frustrating people that I know. Yet you make me so nervous. I never know what to say to you when you get all geek talk on me. All I can do is just stand there, speechless. Just watching you talk.

I wish that I wasn't so awkward when I first see you. Everytime, every single time. I avoid your gaze and pretend that everyone in the room is more interesting than you, when really you are the only person I want to talk too. But I still refuse to look at you and I try to make conversation with someone near me and it's like you don't exist.

But I am so, so aware of you. Eventually I work up the courage to glance at you and you're usually talking to someone but on occasion our eyes will meet and I swear I blush and look away but I always look back. I don't know why I look back.

It's time I tell you that I adore you and have now for a while but I don't have to courage to tell you. I've dropped hints like they were flash gerandes and you were the target on a game of Modern Warfare 3, watched them explode in your face and you don't even flinch.

Maybe that's your way of telling me you don't feel the same way but I swear sometimes I feel like you know and you have those same feelings back toward me.

So I think it's about time I tell you, I don't love you; I barely know you. But I'm fascinated by your potential.

Sincerely,

Amanda Melinda Brydon

So I really like you and I think you're perfect... If it's okay with you I'd really like to make you mine because I'm falling pretty damn hard.

Oops, I meant "Hey." Damn autocorrect.

Only if I could actually send that.

Confession:

I have a big mouth, and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I may be proud of these traits, but in society they have proven to not be a good combo. Who knew?

Now if only I could start thinking before I act or speak...then I might be able to make up for everything else. But we know how hard that would be for me. Besides, that doesn't sound like much fun!

Maybe one day... hmm.