Crushing Is Crushing Me

I hate crushes. I hate the word 'crush' on its own. It sounds so painful; I mean I crush spiders. Yet here I am. This is me, having a crush on a guy and feeling totally lame about it at the same time. And that happens every time I have a crush on a guy. I feel mega lame because he's all I can think about for God knows what reason and he probably hasn't even had my name cross his mind since we've kissed.

Now, I can honestly admit that I don't remember exactly everything that happened taking an count of the alcohol. I couldn't tell you why or how it happened. Who kissed who first or who led it on. I can certainly tell you that while we were falling asleep I was thinking about him laying next to me holding my hand. My stomach dropped just thinking about it.

They keep telling me how cute it is that I'm crushing on this guy, but I feel like a dork. I'd feel a lot better if I knew how he felt about our make-out session. If he only did it because he was drunk. Fine. I'll deal with that.