In reality, I'm terrified of tears, because tears to me mean heartbreak and emotional pain. It's gotten to the point where I'm scared of admitting I'm broken. I denied it for a long time, but I'm in pieces. And I can't move on. I can't move from this place of frustration, heart ache, stress, just being miserable. I haven't been taking care of myself. I've just been holding all of this in. I literally can't talk to anyone about this. I have no one to confide in.
I'm sitting here realizing, that I care so much about the world and the people in it, that I never care about myself. I have a passion for people, and sometimes I forget it's okay to care about myself. I need time to heal. Time to let "time" undo the mess I've made. Right now, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just confused, and at a point where there is no other choice but to give everything up and go day by day.
1 comment:
Amanda,
It's east to forget to take care of yourself when your such a caring person. I've had it happen to me, and the best thing you can do about it is realize that you have a friend (me) who would not take care of me to take care of you. I'd return that favor to you any time of the day. I really wish I wasn't so far away... it was really hard for me to leave my life behind so suddenly. I have partially found a new place over here, but it just doesn't compare to my family and "old" friends. I'm going to try to come home for a few weeks this summer if it's possible price wise. If so, let's just have some me and you time?
Love,
'Moyer' ;)
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