It's OK. You can tell me what I've been telling myself for months. This is so pathetic. MOVE ON ALREADY! I think there should be some sort of special goggles you can wear when you're in the presence of "that guy." You know, the one you're sure, beyond a doubt that you're over him; and then you see him, and those annoying feelings start bubbling up to the surface yet again. I know I would invest in a hefty supply of said goggles. Stupid Marco (Polo)!
What in the heck sort of power does this guy have over me? I'm an intelligent, independent woman, so why is it that every time I see him, I morph into this 13-year-old again? I'm pretty sure he doesn't think we're even remotely compatible, and franktly, I'm not so sure we are, either.
But you know what's even worse (or annoying....I haven't decided yet)? I think my friends may have been right, at least in part. Maybe hes fear did stop him from seeing where things would go with us. After all, I had created this fantasy in my head for the last year or so, and the moment we were remotely moving toward that fantasy. I pushed him and in which, he recoiled. Yes, probably in fear. But don't we all do that?
I tried giving him space to think these over but in the end... I continued to push. I was scared. We're all so scared that the fantasy we'd built in our heads is all we'll ever have (or want?) that maybe we'd rather just have that instead of, well, the inevitable heartbreak that would probably come with reality.
I guess I just love that damn fantasy too much. That's not fair to me or him, I know, but how can I change the thought patterns I've had for a year or so? And again, maybe I'm just too afraid to try.
But the question still remains: Why do I keep opening these flood gates? Desperation? Craziness? I'm not sure, honestly.
What do you think? Am I really as hopelessly hopeless as I think?
3 comments:
moving on is hard to do.
and i think the only reason why you can't move on is because you finally let yourself fall for someone..
and i mean you fell hard for someone. this is normally you.
its a good thing you finally had a connection with someone but it doesn't always work out.
don't let this stop you from having another connection with someone else.
i love you.
this is normally not you. lol!
Some2cents
When a guy wants you and only you. He will be all for you. There is no grey area. There is no confusion, there are no questions. He pursues you, not the other way around. Forget him, waste of your time. Waste of your feelings.
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